I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
