last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
