There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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