I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
