**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
