i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
