If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
