Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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