Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
