Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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