We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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