We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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