im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Damn victory sex feels great
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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