He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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