he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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