I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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