ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I will die if light touches me.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize