I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
