I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.