i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.