Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
