Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize