when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
