also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize