where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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