Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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