i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
