I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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