I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
