somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
