Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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