It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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