I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
