Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize