I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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