I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
