I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
