Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
