dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You ruined the universe
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
