remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize