On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
