According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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