I'm really into asian looking animals
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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