Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
