It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The convent might be a nice break from real life
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
