my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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