guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize