so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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