Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His nipple licking is glorious
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