I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
