i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
