I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
