You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize