dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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