Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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