The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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