just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize