Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize