apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
