sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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