Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Please don't give away my fajitas
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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