Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize