Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
