Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
