Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
