she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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