She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
