Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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