she was so not down for the gang bang
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you never un-have a 4some
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Come on in and take your pants off
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